


a flame that still burns

by QuietBreeze



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining Lance (Voltron), Soldier Keith (Voltron), University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23917873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietBreeze/pseuds/QuietBreeze
Summary: “Do you know when you’re coming back?” asked Lance, lounging on his bed and holding the phone to his ear. His fingers were trembling. He was afraid to hear the answer.There was a sigh from the other end. “In a month, I think,” Keith eventually replied, his voice hushed.Lance’s chest ached. Another month.*A modern AU where Lance McClain falls for a boy who has to leave him, and may never come back.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 198





	a flame that still burns

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I couldn't get out of my head so I decided to write it to combat social distancing anxiety - and it definitely helped!
> 
> I'm really excited to have this out there, so I really hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Side note: Shiro isn't in this, sorry! I couldn't find the right place to squeeze him in but I do have a headcanon for where he is which you can read at the end. ;)

“Do you know when you’re coming back?” asked Lance, lounging on his bed and holding the phone to his ear. His fingers were trembling. He was afraid to hear the answer.

There was a sigh from the other end. “In a month, I think,” Keith eventually replied, his voice hushed.

Lance’s chest ached. Another _month_.

He felt completely at peace when talking to Keith. Just the softness of his words kept him grounded and able to cope with missing him. But it was so much harder knowing how far away he was, and how much longer he still had to wait.

“How are you?” asked Keith.

Lance almost didn’t hear the question, picking at the buttons on the end of his duvet.

“Me? Oh, just busy. Got deadlines, plenty of work to do.” He chuckled humourlessly. They could never get away from the small talk, because it was too painful to talk about anything else.

“But are you… _okay_?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how are you handling things? I know it wasn’t easy to leave everyone behind.”

 _Of course I’m not okay._ “Yeah, I’m fine,” Lance lied. There was a tense pause from the other end.

“You sure?”

“Yeah _,_ stop asking.” _I should be the one asking you that._

Another awkward pause. Lance sighed as he tried to get comfortable on his bed. His room was tiny and made him feel more claustrophobic by the minute.

“Okay,” Keith eventually said. “Talk to me about something else. What did you do today?”

He was trying not to talk about himself, and Lance understood why. He thought _he_ had problems with an essay to write and interviews to plan, but it was nothing compared to the hell Keith was going through. And the worst part? There was nothing Lance could say to help him. He felt powerless – just a voice on the other end of a phone, a friend from a life he left behind. What could _he_ do to make anything better?

All he could do was be there for him, and he would continue to do so – like he had since the beginning.

* * *

Lance was fifteen when Keith first moved in, just a few doors down from his house. He’d been walking to school when he noticed the delivery truck parked on the side of the road, boxes being unloaded, beefy men carrying them down the short path to the house.

Lance was curious. The couple in that house had moved out a few days earlier. He had known them through polite waves and nothing else, but they were friendly and he’d liked them. He’d heard from his mum they’d moved up country to be closer to relatives. Now the house was being taken over by a new family, and Lance was interested to catch just a small glimpse of them.

As he was walking past, he noticed someone standing by the front door. A young boy about his age, leaning against the wall and staring at his phone. He had a thick set of black hair that graced his neck, a red flannel shirt under a denim jacket, and a pair of earphones, which were plugged into his phone.

Of all people, Lance hadn’t expected someone his own age to be living there. He’d always been the only kid on his street, surrounded by the elderly and single parents. Now he felt unsure how to behave. Should he try and be welcoming? If he locked eyes with him, should he go and say hi? It was probably the right thing to do, but he was already late for school.

Before he could decide, he walked straight into a hard mass he hadn’t seen blocking his path: a delivery man who glared straight down at Lance from his superior height.

“Watch yourself, lad.”

“Sorry,” Lance said with his head down, sidestepping the man and continuing his walk down the path.

When he risked a glance, he saw the dark-haired boy looking right at him, a mixture of confusion and curiosity on his face. Lance was too embarrassed to welcome the new neighbour now, so he looked away and walked on, desperate to reach school as soon as possible.

* * *

Lance didn’t see the new boy again for a few days.

Right when he wasn’t expecting it, he was in the lunch hall with Hunk and Pidge, sipping lemonade as he listened to Pidge chat about one of her science projects – when Hunk suddenly waved at someone across the room.

“Hey, Keith, get over here!”

Confused, Lance followed Hunk’s gaze – and when he saw him, he had to force his mouth closed. It was the guy who had moved onto his street, now in his school shirt and trousers (he was missing a tie, Lance noticed) and was all smiles as he walked to the table, a bottle of coke in-hand. Hunk was on his feet and slapping him on the shoulder.

“You settling in?”

The dark-haired boy – who Lance now knew as Keith – smiled brightly at Hunk. “It’s not so bad,” he said, as he briefly returned the affection.

“You two know each other?” Lance blurted out, pointing his fork at the pair.

The moment Keith’s eyes locked onto Lance, the recognition dawned on him. “Oh, it’s you.”

“Wait, you _know_ Keith?” Hunk exclaimed, staring questioningly at Lance.

“No, we… you moved in the other day!” Lance snapped, jabbing a finger at Keith. “On my street!”

“Yeah, I saw you,” replied Keith as he moved to sit in the chair on Hunk’s right. Katie was listening to the conversation with an amused grin. “Good job on nearly knocking a guy over.”

Lance’s whole body tensed, glaring at Keith as he let his fork clatter to the plate. He ignored the snicker from Pidge.

“First of all,” he said, his shoulders hunched over, “ _he_ nearly knocked _me_ over, not the other way around. Second, how do you know Hunk?”

“Our parents know each other,” Hunk answered before Keith could. “Our mums were childhood friends, and I heard they were moving here last week. I didn’t think you guys would actually _meet_ before school.”

“Well, we did,” Lance muttered, glaring at Keith. He looked strikingly different in uniform, but he was able to get a closer look at him now. He had intense dark eyes, thick eyebrows, and his hair wasn’t just long but a literal mullet, like he’d taken the style out of an 80’s magazine.

“We didn’t meet, you stared at me and walked off,” Keith retorted. That’s not a meeting.”

“Yeah, well, you could have said hi! You could have smiled! Waved! _Anything_!”

“Shouldn’t you be the one to say something if I’m new?”

“ _Anyway_.” Hunk broke in, keen to ease the tension. “We’ll introduce ourselves _now,_ right? Keith, this is Lance. Lance, this is Keith.”

There was a stubborn pause as the two stared at anything but each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Keith eventually said.

“You too,” Lance muttered.

“Oh, and the brains of the group is Pidge,” Hunk added, gesturing to his left. Pidge reached a hand across the table.

“Hey,” she said. “Hope we haven’t scared you off.”

“Not yet,” Keith replied with a grin as he shook Pidge’s hand. Lance noticed the black, fingerless gloves on his hands. An unusual thing to wear with uniform but, okay?

For the rest of the lunch hour, conversation took off in a new direction. Hunk asked Keith about his family, how the move-in was going, and how his mother was handling it. Keith talked about how different the city felt to his last home, which had apparently been somewhere quiet on the outskirts of Texas.

Hunk seemed to tread carefully when asking about Keith’s parents. Lance wanted to know why, but the information clearly wasn’t meant for him, so he kept quiet as he finished his chips.

As he listened to Hunk talk with Keith so naturally and buoyantly, Lance suddenly felt like an outsider.

* * *

As the weeks went by, Keith became an integral part of the group. He spent every lunch hour with them, sat in the majority of their lessons, and as much Lance tried to avoid it, they saw each other on their street almost every day.

He wasn’t sure why he had an instant dislike towards him. Perhaps it was the arrogance he’d shown when they’d first met, or how he suddenly became a favourite during classes even though he was quiet. But the most plausible reason was that Lance couldn’t understand why he’d never heard of him before. Not once had Hunk mentioned him, and a part of Lance was afraid Keith’s friendship with Hunk was stronger than his.

He knew he was being petty and jealous, but it didn’t stop him from showing Keith he didn’t want him around. One grey morning, Lance was beginning the walk to school when he saw Keith leaving his house. He was usually able to avoid him by leaving his house early, but he was late today, and Keith had locked eyes with him before he could make a quick getaway.

Lance curled his fists into his palms as Keith came to a stop on the sidewalk to wait for him.

“Hey,” he said as Lance approached.

“Hey,” Lance muttered, keeping his head down as Keith fell into step with him. He kept silent as they walked, trying to focus on the path ahead.

“Uh… did you do the Biology homework?” Keith asked.

“Yeah,” Lance answered. “Did you?”

“Yeah.”

More silence as they turned the corner. Lance hated silence, but he was determined to drag it out. They’d never been alone together before and Lance wasn’t keen on talking, even though he knew he was being childish.

“Are you okay?” asked Keith after a while. Lance looked up to see the concerned frown on his face. He shrugged his shoulders and looked away again.

“Yeah, why do you care?” Lance snapped.

“Okay, just _stop_.”

When Lance next looked to his left, Keith wasn’t there anymore. He’d stopped just behind him, standing there with his arms folded. “Did I do something wrong?”

Lance blinked, clutching the strap of his bag. “Uh, no?”

“Really? Because it’s like you’ve had it in for me since I arrived.”

“I’ve not had anything _in_ for you—”

“So why don’t you talk to me? We’re neighbours, we’re both Hunk’s friends. Don’t you owe it to _him_?”

Lance opened his mouth and closed it again.

“I…” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “I guess. But you’ve not been trying any more than I have. And what am I supposed to _say_? I don’t know anything about you or your family – you’re just this stranger who showed up out of nowhere!”

Lance took a breath afterwards, realising he’d been shouting, and looked at the ground sheepishly. After a moment, Keith took a step towards him.

“I get it. You don’t know me.” Another shuffle of feet against the ground. “So… let’s talk.”

Lance looked up. “Now? We’re already late.”

“After school. You want coffee?” Keith asked with a shrug.

Lance considered it. He checked his watch, seeing they still had ten minutes. He had nowhere to be after school, except with his family, who were loving but occasionally stifling. Could one coffee hurt? He supposed not.

“Sure,” he found himself saying. He hoped he wouldn’t regret it later.

* * *

Lance hadn’t expected that coffee with Keith to be the first of many.

He learned a lot about him that day, and he wanted to learn more, so they made it a regular thing. Every Wednesday after school, they would go to the same coffee shop and talk, sometimes for hours. They were even kicked out once for staying past closing time.

From that point on, Lance was more comfortable with Keith as part of the group. He now knew that his family had moved around the country a lot, before finally settling here. His father had died a long time ago and he had no siblings, so it was just him and his mum. Keith had explained how strong his mother was, but the death of his father was still a heavy weight on her shoulders, and the moving around didn’t make it any easier.

“Why _do_ you keep moving?” asked Lance one day.

They were sitting in a bus shelter on a rainy afternoon, coffee cups in their hands. Keith paused before answering, cradling the cup against his chest. His hair was wet from the rain, draping over his eyes and nearly shielding them from view.

“It’s complicated.”

“Tell me anyway,” said Lance.

Keith went quiet for a long time. The rain continued to fall on the shelter, pattering on the glass. Lance almost thought he wouldn’t answer.

“Let’s just say I’m not a people person,” Keith said quietly. He stared ahead and took a sip of his coffee. “In case it wasn’t obvious.”

Lance laughed softly as Keith glanced at him, but he stayed quiet, a signal for him to continue.

“I’ve been expelled from three schools for getting into fights. I have a temper and some people knew how to get under my skin.”

Lance’s fingers tightened around his cup as he listened. Cars roared past them, splashing water along the sidewalk. Keith was staring ahead like he didn’t notice them.

“I don’t remember much about my dad, but my mum does. She’s sad about it a lot, when she thinks I’m not looking. I never talked about it at school – I never really opened up to anyone, so when people asked about my family and who I was, why I was so quiet… I don’t know, I just… I lashed out.”

Keith shook his head as if to forget the memory. “You think I’m a bad person, now, right?” he asked with a smile.

Lance was lost in thought, but when he realised what he’d been asked, he shook his head. “No? Why would that make you _bad_? You were just frustrated. I get it.”

Keith shrugged as he sipped more coffee, warming his hands on the cup. “I don’t know, I guess I just… _feel_ bad whenever I think about it.”

All bitterness forgotten, Lance felt sympathetic towards Keith. They were only teenagers still – neither of them had come into their own yet. Life was difficult and uncertain, and being honest with each other was even harder. Lance thought _he_ had difficulties in his life, but he had his entire family around him, alive and well, and he had stayed in the same place for years.

It was times like these he realised he had much to be thankful for.

Cautiously, he shuffled closer to Keith, near enough so their shoulders brushed. The rain was getting heavier, several cold drops landing on Lance’s cheeks.

“Did you move here because of Hunk?” asked Lance.

Keith nodded. “His family visited mine a lot when I was young. They’ve always been good to us. I guess my mum figured the best place to bring me was here, closer to them.”

“Took you long enough to figure that out,” Lance teased, elbowing him in the rib.

Keith laughed, hanging his head so locks of wet hair fell further over his eyes. Lance watched as he pushed his hair back, noticed the droplets of rain on his pale cheeks, and the way he smiled so genuinely when he sent him a glance. It took him a few moments to realise he was staring, quickly turning to watch the traffic again.

Lance sipped more coffee. It was lukewarm now, but the taste was still refreshing, and enough to warm himself. He knew he should be getting home by now, but he felt so comfortable, despite the cold and the discomfort of the hard seat. He wanted to stay with Keith and talk more, even if the rain never stopped.

“Lance?”

He looked over. Keith was staring ahead, seemingly mesmerized by the rain.

“Yeah?” he asked. He shivered, shifting closer to Keith as if to seek his warmth.

“I haven’t told anyone that before,” Keith said quietly. “Not even Hunk.”

Lance felt a gentle pang in his chest. He certainly hadn’t expected that.

“You really listen,” Keith continued, before turning to lock his eyes on him. “Thanks.”

Lance smiled, before unconsciously scooting closer. Their shoulders brushed. “No probs. Always here.”

They stayed in the shelter for an hour, waiting for the rain to ease. All that time, Lance forgot the cold, forgot the rain, and the sky beginning to darken. He was only aware of Keith beside him, and how radiant he looked.

He had to fight the urge to touch him.

* * *

Lance never thought his friendship with Keith would last beyond their school years. Somehow, he couldn’t let go of the connection they’d formed, even though he wanted to go to university, and he knew that Keith didn’t. Their paths were bound to separate, but Lance was determined it wouldn’t change anything.

After high school, he took a year out to earn some money, working as a waiter in a local restaurant. It was exhausting in some ways, but fun in others. After all, Lance liked to think he had a natural charm when dealing with the public.

One particularly busy evening, Lance was serving plates to a family of four, greeting them with his trademark smile and receiving welcome smiles in return. He was walking away and wiping his brow when he noticed someone pacing outside the restaurant doors.

It was Keith, whose gaze was on the ground before he looked up and met Lance’s eyes through the glass. Lance froze, noting the wide-eyed, urgent look on Keith’s face.

He wanted to talk.

Lance looked around and checked his boss, Becky, wasn’t watching, before he ran to the doors, bursting through them to see Keith waiting there, hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” Lance said, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Hey. Sorry, I know you’re working,” Keith said. He looked quite pale, his eyes red around the edges. Lance wondered if he was sleeping properly.

“It’s fine, it’s just…” Lance checked one more time to see if anyone was looking. Several patrons were watching them through the windows.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere else,” he said, guiding Keith around the building to the bin area. It wasn’t pretty, but at least it was private. “Okay, what’s up?”

Words seemed lost on Keith at first. He stared at the ground for a moment, kicking an empty can away from him. “There’s… something I wanted to talk to you about. I can’t put it off for much longer.”

Again, he hesitated, and Lance waited, a nervousness building in his chest. Something had definitely been different about Keith for the last few days. They’d been out with the gang for drinks every evening as usual, and Keith would often be chatty after a beer or two, but this week there had only been silence from Keith’s end. Lance had wanted to ask about it, but knew him well enough to decide it was best not to pry it out of him.

Now, it seemed he was about to reveal what it was, and it seemed to take everything to get the words out.

“I… I know you’re going to college next year,” Keith began. “I haven’t had plans for myself for a while, but I’ve been thinking about something. Something pretty big.”

Lance listened patiently, trying to ignore the dread he was feeling. What did _big_ mean?

“Lance, I’m…” Keith sighed and folded his arms. “I’m joining the army. In September.”

In the several seconds Lance had to take in that bombshell, it was as if his body refused to process it. His heart lurched beneath his chest, his palms grew hot, and his legs went to jelly. He tried to disguise the shock on his face, but it was clear Keith had seen it, watching him with an almost guilty look in his eyes.

The alley was quiet except for Lance’s breathing. He swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly very dry. “Okay?” he eventually said. “That’s… that’s a month away.”

“I know.”

The _army_? Out of all his options, _that_ was what Keith wanted to do? The army, where men and women killed each other every day?

Maybe he should have guessed Keith would go for something like that. He was the physical one of the group, the top of the sports classes, always going for jogs when he wasn’t at school. There was a determination about him that couldn’t be shaken.

But, Lance didn’t know if he could accept this. He couldn’t stop Keith from doing what he wanted, but what was he supposed to _say_?

The more he stared at him, standing there in his leather jacket and jeans, impossibly calm, the more Lance realised how beautiful he was, and how much he valued him. The curve of his jawline, the dark intensity of his eyes, and the gentle curls in his hair.

Lance had suspected for a few years he felt more for Keith than he was willing to let on. He’d suspected it every time they met. They’d grown up together, learned so much from each other, and Lance felt so safe with him.

And now he was about to leave? For a warzone?

“I didn’t want to spring this on you,” said Keith, “but I needed you to know. Is that okay?”

Lance didn’t know how to answer. _Of course_ it wasn’t okay. It wasn’t okay he’d probably kept this in for weeks and never mentioned it. Lance wouldn’t have minded if he’d just _talked_ about it. But Keith had never been the talking type, right? He kept things private and only revealed them when he was ready – usually when he’d already made a decision about something.

In the midst of his panic, Lance told himself: these were just _words_. This was nothing more than an _idea_. For all he knew, Keith would change his mind before September. People often did after making rash decisions. So why should he worry?

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Lance reluctantly said. “I’m glad you told me.”

Keith raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, man, good for you!” _I’m proud of you_ , he almost said, but held it back at the last second.

Keith nodded uncertainly. “Okay. Well… you’re at work, I should let you get back.”

“Have you told Hunk and Pidge yet?”

Keith looked back before he could walk away. A distant, sad look flashed across his face. “No. We’re all meeting tomorrow. I thought I’d tell them then.”

“Seven as usual?” asked Lance.

“You got it,” Keith said, with a smile Lance knew was forced.

He wanted to say more, wanted to ask him why, and how he had kept this under wraps for God knows how long. But Keith was already waving goodbye and leaving in a hurry.

Lance had to work the rest of his shift with worry sitting in his stomach like a rock.

* * *

Keith didn’t change his mind before September.

He was leaving for the army. It was _real_ , and Lance hadn’t been able to say everything he wanted to. He understood the how and the why. Keith felt like he owed something to the country, as many young men did, and it was the only way he felt he could prove himself.

Lance wanted to argue adamantly against this. _You don’t need to prove yourself_ , he thought, _you’re perfect as you are. And what about your mum?_

But Lance didn’t say any of this. He knew Keith wouldn’t change his mind, no matter what others said, so what was the point? All he could do, in the weeks leading to his departure, was make the most of his company.

They were in Lance’s living room one night watching a movie. Lance munched quietly on his popcorn for a long while, aware of Keith’s presence on the sofa behind him. Then, without warning, Lance paused the film. He turned to see Keith looking confused.

“Hey, why did you--?”

“How long will you be gone for?” Lance asked urgently.

The question seemed to catch Keith off-guard. He picked at his nails for a moment. “I… I don’t know. Not for sure.”

“You’re lying.”

Keith sighed, pushing his blanket off his chest and sitting up straight. He stared intensely at his hands. “Deployment lasts for a few months at a time. Could be three months. Maybe six.”

Lance felt like the earth had dropped from under him. He felt sick, and looking at Keith only made it worse. He wanted to take a mental snapshot of him; the way he was right now: safe, beautiful, and _alive_ , and preserve it in time, so Keith never had to leave.

“Wow,” Lance said, his voice hoarse.

“I’ll try and come back before then.”

“But you can’t, can you? That’s not how it works.”

As soon as Lance hid his face in his hands, Keith was off the sofa and sitting beside him, throwing an arm around his shoulders. The tears came quickly, and Lance didn’t bother hiding them, leaning into Keith’s chest and letting his emotions run free.

Keith kept silent and let him cry, allowing Lance’s tears to soak his shirt. The longer he kept quiet, the more Lance wanted to scream and shake him by the shoulders. But instead of throwing a tantrum, he let himself appreciate the warmth of his body against him, sniffing back his tears and nestling further into his chest. Keith’s thumb stroked Lance’s shoulder, and it made him feel safe, and most importantly, _wanted._

What Lance hadn’t told him – what he didn’t have the strength for even now – was how much he adored him. He couldn’t tell him how he had grown to see beyond the bad-tempered, dark-eyed boy he met as a kid. There was more to him than that. He was determined, brave, and kind when he needed to be. He appreciated Lance for who he was, and listened to him whenever he had to get something off his chest.

As well as all that, Lance had noticed more and more how captivatingly _beautiful_ Keith was. He hadn’t thought it at first – it had grown over time, and Lance had ended up craving the darkness of Keith’s eyes, and his soft voice when he needed to vent his worries. Keith was the humblest and most understanding person he’d ever met.

And Lance loved him more than anything.

After what felt like hours, Lance pulled away from him, but not completely. Their foreheads rested against each other, and Lance kept his gaze firmly away from Keith’s eyes, focusing on the nape of his neck, pale skin poking out from beneath his shirt. Lance found himself wanting to kiss that area.

“You want to know why I’m doing this?” asked Keith.

Lance looked up and met his eyes.

“There are a lot of things I’m not good at,” Keith continued. “I’m not an academic. I couldn’t go to college. I couldn’t do what you’re doing.”

He pulled Lance closer, knocking their foreheads together. Lance couldn’t keep looking at Keith’s eyes, moving his head back into his chest.

“You’ve got a great future ahead of you, Lance. But it’s not what I could do.”

“You don’t owe people anything,” Lance tried to argue.

“I owe my mum a lot,” Keith replied softly.

“Then why are you _leaving_ her?”

Keith sighed. He hugged Lance closer, even though there was no space left between them.

“I won’t be gone forever.”

He was deflecting. Pretending the issue wasn’t as bad as it was.

 _It would FEEL like forever,_ thought Lance.

But he knew there was no changing his mind now. All he could do was stay within Keith’s hold for the entire night if he had to, and refuse to be the first to move away.

They finished the movie afterwards – Lance crying silent tears all the way through – and fell asleep together at some stage. The last thing Lance remembered was Keith’s hard chest underneath him, and the strong urge he’d felt to kiss him before sleep finally took him.

* * *

Keith left two weeks later. Lance couldn’t take time off work to say goodbye.

* * *

Several months later, Lance was in his second semester of college. He’d settled in well, though he’d left almost everyone he knew behind. Thankfully Pidge was only down the road – she’d moved into a new place with her brother, Matt – but apart from that, Lance had lost any closeness to friends and family.

Since moving away, he’d kept his focus on his degree, and while History had its pros and cons, it gave Lance the knowledge he craved, and the qualification he needed if he wanted to go into teaching. Or curating. Or whatever came his way in three years’ time.

He’d made a lot of new friends here, which had helped take his mind off everything. The initial friendships he’d made wouldn’t last – mainly conjured through alcohol-filled events on campus – but they brought him warmth and comfort, even if he didn’t know them well. Now, he was only close to a select few: two people from his course, plus one of his flatmates, a woman named Teresa. She was three years older than Lance and had, in a way, taken him under her wing.

Now he lay comfortably on his bed, phone against his ear, and wondering how to answer Keith’s question.

“What did you do today?” asked the gentle voice from the other end. The voice Lance missed so desperately.

“Well, I’ve been writing my essay,” Lance began, kicking his legs from where they lay behind him. “Going for nights out. Student stuff.”

“That’s great, Lance.”

Keith went strangely silent after that. He would usually follow up with more curious questions, just to pass the time and extend the call for as long as possible. But several moments went by and Keith still said nothing. Lance could hear subtle breaths and shuffling, like he was distracted by something.

“You okay?” he asked nervously.

“Yeah, fine. It’s just…” Keith paused again. He seemed to be wondering how to phrase his next sentence.

Lance opened his mouth to say something else, before Keith interrupted him. “Lance, where are you right now?”

The urgency in Keith’s voice caught Lance off-guard. He hesitated, staring at the sky through his window. “Uh… I’m just in my room, hanging out.”

He paused. Keith had gone quiet again. “Why do you ask?”

“Lance… could you come downstairs?”

At first, Lance didn’t understand the question – but then realization came to him. His heart started racing. He sat upright in an instant, keeping the phone pressed against his ear.

“Why?” he asked, as his heart threatened to burst from his chest.

Keith was quiet again. Mischievously so. Lance heard him chuckle.

“Keith, _why are you asking_?”

“Just, trust me.” Lance could practically hear him smiling. “Come downstairs, to the courtyard.”

Lance couldn’t contain his shock, his panic, his elation. Was he seriously…?

“Oh, my God.” Lance breathed as he jumped off the bed and ran to the door. Keith was chuckling on the other end as he threw the door open. His flat was a single corridor between the kitchen and student rooms – nothing like an actual house, but Lance didn’t care. He darted along the hall and out of the front door, checking his back pocket for his key-card, while keeping the phone firmly pressed to his ear.

“Keith, are you _serious_?” he said breathlessly as he began to descend the stairs.

“Get to the courtyard and find out.”

After Keith hung up, Lance found himself laughing deliriously as he ran down the staircase. “No way. No fucking way.”

* * *

The block he lived in was part of a larger complex for students – a glass building that faced a small courtyard. Lance had always found it ugly, and thought they could have put more effort into a place for new students who were probably scared out of their minds.

It wasn’t perfect, but Lance had made do. But right now, the architecture was the last thing on his mind.

He rushed into the lift, hopelessly willing it to speed up, and once it reached the ground floor, Lance practically wrenched the doors open before sprinting across the corridor of the ground floor. There was a green button on the wall that opened the door to the courtyard, and Lance had to punch it several times before it actually worked.

The door had barely opened before Lance was pushing his way through, and as soon as he was outside… he saw him. The person he hadn’t seen for six months was sitting at one of the picnic tables.

Keith was in his soldier gear, and looked fitter and more tanned than he had six months prior. But when their gazes met and Keith stood up to greet him, the gentle sparkle in his eyes was the same. Lance realised there and then just how much he’d missed it.

How much he needed it.

He was grateful no-one else was in the courtyard at that moment, because he was running to Keith without thinking about it, letting his tears fall as he ran into his outstretched arms and leapt on his shoulders, holding his arms around him. Keith lifted him about a foot off the ground, spinning him around. His body was firm, as was his embrace around Lance’s waist, and he was _real_. He was _here_ , firm to the touch – not just a voice on the other end of a phone.

“I hate you,” Lance sobbed into his shoulder, “I hate you _so much_ , what is _wrong_ with you?”

Keith was laughing into the nape of his neck. “I wanted to surprise you,” he murmured, his breath warm against Lance’s skin.

“I _hate_ you,” Lance said again, tears streaming down his face.

All he could think about was that Keith was safely within his grasp, and he was determined not to let go this time – not to let him return to horrific places, far away from him. He didn’t want the phone calls anymore. He wanted Keith to stay right here where no-one could touch him, except for Lance, and he could tell him everything. The things he’d been keeping inside for so long.

He clung to Keith’s shoulders for a moment longer before he gently put him down. As Lance’s feet hit the ground, he saw that Keith was beaming – the brightest he’d ever seen him smile – with tears in his eyes.

“Why would you do that?” asked Lance, breath short in his chest. “You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

“Well, sorry, I guess?” said Keith, a cheeky glint in his eye.

“I’m worried enough about work and you just… you…” Lance almost sobbed again, but he held it in his throat, giving Keith a playful shove instead. “You’re an _idiot_.”

Keith’s eyes were swimming with tears now. They were apart, but Lance wanted nothing more than to step back into his embrace again. He could hear windows of surrounding flats being opened, but he paid no mind.

“I missed you,” said Lance.

Keith chuckled as he wiped his eyes. “I missed you too.” He glanced around for a moment, before asking, “Do you mind if we go inside? So we can talk?”

Lance’s body seemed to melt at the prospect. _I thought you’d never ask._

“Sure.”

_As long as you never leave._

* * *

When he led Keith back to his room, Lance still found it hard to believe he was real. When he closed the door behind them, enclosing them in the warmth of his cramped student room, he stood there and just _watched_ Keith, as he took time to look curiously around his room. He smiled as his gaze landed on Lance’s posters.

“I like your galaxy poster,” he said as he brushed a finger against it.

Lance shoved his hands in his pockets, embarrassed. “Yeah, I love looking at pictures of space. It makes me feel… _lost_. But kind of safe, somehow?”

Keith nodded distantly, eyes still locked on the poster. “I know what you mean.”

The silence was tangible between them, comfortable, but tense at the same time. Tense with the certainty of unsaid things.

Keith looked round and smiled. Lance smiled back. Then he suddenly remembered himself.

“Uh, do you want water? Coffee?”

“No, it’s okay.” Keith turned to him, soft but imposing. “Lance, I need to talk to you.”

“I need to talk to you too,” Lance said automatically. The feeling of Keith’s hands around him was still there.

Keith hesitated. He looked ethereal in the glow of the room, otherworldly in his khaki uniform, and powerful, compared to Lance, who was just a student and felt so inferior to be in the same room as him. He couldn’t believe this was the same person he’d cuddled with during movie night.

“Okay,” said Keith. “You go first.”

“No, you,” answered Lance. “Please.” If he was going to hear difficult news – which he knew he would – he needed it now.

Keith took a breath. “Okay. Listen. You know I can’t stay here forever, right?”

Lance nodded. “Sure.” It hurt just to admit it.

“I wanted to make sure I’d seen you, before I go back. I’m only here for a few days.”

“Have you not told Hunk you’re around?” asked Lance.

“Yeah, we video-called. He understood I needed to see you first.”

At this, Lance was confused. Hunk and Keith had been friends for years. He would have completely understood if Keith had wanted to see him first. But he’d come here – to Lance – first?

Keith was sitting on the edge of Lance’s bed now, as if to calm himself.

“Lance, we haven’t seen each other in so long, and I… I need to ask you something, before I go back. It’s going to drive me crazy not knowing.”

Lance’s heart was racing again. He wanted to spill what he’d been holding in, but somehow he knew that Keith’s words came first. He walked to the bed and sat next to him.

“Go on.”

Keith stared at the floor for a moment, clasping his hands together between his knees. “With this job, I get close to being killed almost every day. It makes you think about things, more than you did before.” He sighed before continuing. “Lance, the last few years have been some of the best I’ve ever had. I’ve never had people I can talk to openly. No one accepted me like that, before I met you.”

Lance was desperate to touch him. Everything he’d harboured for the last few months was threatening to burst.

“All the time I’ve been away…” Keith continued, “did you know you’re the only thing I thought about?”

Lance was unable to speak when Keith met his eyes, voice lost in his throat. The expression in Keith’s gaze was tender, but with a new intensity to it, and Lance couldn’t look away.

“All I’ve thought about is you, too,” he found himself saying. “It’s been… it’s been _hell_ not having you around.”

“I should have told you before I went away,” said Keith, “but I thought you might think less of me, if you knew I… that I…”

Instead of finishing his sentence, Keith grabbed Lance’s hand where it lay on his lap, taking it in his and slowly winding their fingers together. Lance’s heart couldn’t cope as he looked from their entwined fingers back to Keith. Was this really happening? Was Keith really telling him what he thought he was?

“Lance, I—”

“I love you.”

The words were out of Lance’s mouth first.

He’d kept it in for so long, and it felt strange to have the confession on his tongue at last, but there was no stopping himself now. Keith was staring at him, shocked.

“I love you,” Lance repeated, reaching up and pushing some of Keith’s hair back. It was soft between his fingers, as he’d imagined it would be. “I was scared to tell you. I didn’t think I _could_ tell you, but… maybe we’re talking about the same thing, so… it’s not so bad now, right?”

For a second, Keith didn’t move, and Lance wondered if he was about to cry again, with the way he was looking at him.

But then Keith’s hands were suddenly cupping his face and he was kissing him hard. Lance made a surprised noise under his mouth, and had little time to regain his composure as he was pushed onto his back, his head falling into the pillows. But the feeling of Keith’s lips against him was enough to make him melt. He let himself moan against him, holding his arms around his neck and threading his fingers through his hair.

They kissed for what felt like a long time before Keith pulled away, just by a few centimetres, to look breathlessly at Lance, a question in his eyes. His face was already flushed.

“Sorry, is this… too much?” he asked.

Lance shook his head. “No? Why did you stop?”

Keith chuckled breathlessly, his voice rough and sexy in the back of his throat, before he leaned down to kiss him again. He was gentler this time, moving his lips carefully over Lance’s – but Lance soon grew tired of that, pulling him closer and teasing his bottom lip with his tongue. He drew a shaky breath from Keith as he complied and opened his mouth for him

Keith’s hands went everywhere: on Lance’s thighs, his shoulders, and the nape of his neck, where he kissed and nibbled on bare skin. Lance shuddered as he held him there, relishing the warmth of his body on him. It was like floodgates had been closed for years and finally they’d opened, and it felt so good to let everything out, to have Keith hold him like this and know the feeling had been mutual for… well, he didn’t even _know_ how long.

It was just when Keith’s hand went under Lance’s shirt that there was a knock at the door.

“Lance?” The muffled sound of Teresa’s voice from outside.

“Oh, God,” Lance whispered as they broke apart. “That’s my flatmate.”

“Pretend you’re not in?” murmured Keith before continuing to trail kisses down his collarbone.

“She _knows_ I’m in, she heard my door!” Lance snickered, lifting his head back to allow him access. “Okay, okay… just give me a second.’

Keith sighed dramatically. “Fine,” he said, reluctantly climbing off Lance. “Hurry back, I’m not done with you.”

The roughness in his voice was so hot Lance had to force himself to get off the bed. When Lance opened the door, Teresa stood there all smiles, a tub of cookies in her hands. It was obvious she was older than Lance: mild wrinkles around her mouth and nose, with motherly brown eyes. She had a kindness to her smile that Lance appreciated.

“Hi, you! Want a cookie? I just got back.”

“Oh, yeah, uh…” Lance was still out of breath. “They look great! Thanks.” He took a cookie from the tub. They _did_ look delicious, and this was confirmed when he bit into his with a satisfying crunch. “Mmm, they _are_ good.”

“Does your friend want one?” asked Teresa.

Lance immediately stopped chewing. She was fixing him with a curious but innocent stare.

“Uh…”

“I heard voices. I assumed you’ve got a friend here?”

Lance quickly swallowed the cookie. Sweat crept onto his forehead. “Oh, its, uh…”

“Hey.”

What Lance hadn’t expected was to hear Keith’s voice from behind him. He turned to see him leaning around the corner and waving a hand in greeting.

“Oh, hi! I’m Teresa.”

“Keith. Nice to meet you.”

Lance’s embarrassment was hot on his cheeks now, especially when Teresa gasped with excitement.

“Oh, _you’re_ Keith?” she exclaimed. “Lance has told me all about you. …Oh, Lance, he _is_ gorgeous!”

“Oooookay, Teresa, we’re actually kind of busy right now,” said Lance, trying to politely walk her out of the room.

Teresa looked confused as she held the tub, looking between Lance and Keith for a few moments. Then her eyes suddenly grew wide.

“Oh, you’re… _oh!_ I’m so sorry, I’ll get out of your way!”

“It’s okay,” said Lance. “Thanks for the cookie!”

“Have fun, Lance, and use--!”

Lance was dying of embarrassment as he slammed the door, hanging his head in shame. Somewhere behind him, he could hear Keith chuckling.

“Sorry about that,” Lance said, still facing the closed door as he leaned his hand against it.

“It’s okay,” said Keith. “She seemed nice.”

When Lance walked back to the bed, he handed the other half of his cookie to Keith, who sat there mischievous and gremlin-like with his legs crossed as he took the cookie.

“She bakes these herself. She volunteers for a memory café and hands out lots of food,” Lance explained.

Keith chewed on the cookie, eventually nodding in agreement that they were good. Though Lance _should_ have talked more about Teresa’s goodwill, all he could think about right now was Keith’s eyes, dark and tantalizing as they stared up at him. Keith seemed to notice the flush on Lance’s cheeks, putting the cookie to one side before he leaned back on his palms, giving him a full view of his chest.

“She sounds great,” he said, his voice low and sexy.

Then there was silence. It frustrated Lance, when all he wanted to do was pin Keith down and finish what they’d started.

“Am I distracting you?” asked Keith slyly.

“Maybe,” replied Lance, crawling onto the bed beside Keith, leaning closer so their noses touched. “Aren‘t you… going to do something about that?”

* * *

In the hour that followed, they made out. A lot.

But they also talked.

Wrapped in each other’s arms they would lie there, cherishing each other’s company and talking openly about many things. Keith talked more about his life on duty, clearly keen to get things off his chest. Even though there were stories he found hard to tell, Lance was there to comfort him, and didn’t pressure him to reveal things he didn’t want to.

The things Keith said were sometimes hard to stomach. He kept a lot of it under wraps for confidentiality, but he told Lance how it felt to kill someone. He skipped the gory details, but Lance could tell from the look in his eyes that it hurt to talk about it. He pressed a kiss to Keith’s head, hoping it would help.

To divert conversation, Lance talked about college life, his flatmates aside from Teresa, and the interesting parts of his course (which was only 10% of it). They were generally mundane topics, but Lance hoped it would distract Keith from bad memories.

Now they were lying in a comfortable silence. Keith had abandoned his khaki shirt for the tank top underneath, revealing toned arms and a tanned chest. Lance was resting one hand on his shoulder and using the other to play with his hair. He was hot and blissfully tired from kisses, his lips still tingling.

They shared a smile, before Keith closed his eyes with a relaxed sigh. This was perhaps the most peaceful either of them had felt in months. Lance didn’t want it to end. Not this time. Not again.

“Don’t leave.”

Keith opened his eyes, smile fading. Lance had barely realised the words had left his mouth. “What?”

“Don’t go back,” Lance repeated. “Please.”

Keith glanced away for a moment, sighing through his nose. Lance felt guilty. He knew it wasn’t fair to ask it of him, but he was desperate. He couldn’t bear the idea of him going again, when they’d achieved so much.

“You know I have to,” Keith replied, tugging Lance closer by the waist.

“But it’s not just…” Lance shook his head, bumping his forehead against Keith’s. Their warm breath mixed together. “What if… what if you don’t…?”

He couldn’t finish the thought, swallowing the lump in his throat. But Keith knew what he meant.

“I _will_ come back,” he immediately said.

“You don’t know that,” Lance told him.

“Lance, listen to me.” Keith cupped his face with both hands. “ _I’ll come back_. I’ve got a reason to now. I’ll always come back for that.”

He sounded so sure. It made it hard for Lance not to believe him. His brain told him they were just words and it didn’t change the likelihood of Keith not coming back at all.

Soldiers went missing all the time. It was a fact.

But the conviction Keith held in his eyes and the willpower Lance had seen in him since they’d met made it seem like not just words… but a promise.

He was even more sure of this when Keith brought him in for another kiss, hand on the back of his head as he pressed firmly against him. Lance put an arm around him just to keep him close, trying to inhale him, remember the feeling of his lips, in case this was the last time he would ever have him.

When Keith pulled back slightly, he whispered a promise against Lance’s mouth, hot, intimate, and reassuring: “I’ll come back for you, Lance. I promise.”

* * *

For the entirety of his three-year deployment, Keith never broke his promise to Lance. He _always_ came back.

**Author's Note:**

> My headcanon is that Keith met Shiro in the army. They both survived and were able to be with those they loved. ^_^
> 
> Thank you for reading! Please stay healthy and safe!


End file.
